He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
