i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
