I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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