I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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