so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
