I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Randomize