just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i believe in u and ur pee
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
