Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
