trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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