Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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