i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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