The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
