she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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