where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
