I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we're making bets on your personal life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
