Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
