Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize