At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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