I am puke
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
