i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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