I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
