Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
