i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
