oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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