so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just found a bag of teeth...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Someone came in the potted fern
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
