I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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