I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
