You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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