Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
