my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
