Screwed.edu
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
