the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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