elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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