Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
