Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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