great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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