she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
