How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
