Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
