i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize