So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
