Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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