Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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