So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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