you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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