Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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