I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
