i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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