Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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