My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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