To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He did a backflip because drugs
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
