i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
