It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
