can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
