honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
