I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
