Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
