escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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