you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
